If you're the real serious type, then you'd better just bypass this page.
"There comes a time when you need a helping hand, when the world must come
together as one." Sorry...started singing there for a moment...tell ya what
if you can tell me the name of that song...I'll make sure you're not actually
exposed to my singing abilities. What I meant was there comes a time when people, no
matter who you are, you should just relax, take some time out and CHILL!!!
All that negative stress just wears people out and make 'em look old. If
you don't believe me then take a good look in the mirror. I don't mean to
offend, because I'm a firm believer in "Whatsoever you do, it will most
certainly come back to you". And to answer your question of "Why is
this called the "Fun Stuff"? Well, where else can you go and let off some
Here's your chance to let it out of your system, to tell me how bad a day
you had with your fellow co-worker, or to tell me how bad or good a day
you had on the road, when all of a sudden...Bambi jumped out in front of
you or just to tell me off to make you feel better. There's always
a certain sense of gratification and for some people easier to tell a
complete stranger some aspect of your life compared to someone closer.
I'm not Dr. Ruth or claim to be anyone like that. I have learned alot in my
Army career and if someone has a problem that they would like to talk to someone
about then by all means.... Because most people hear, but they don't listen!!!
If it is to be, then it is up to me. Each choice has it's consequence. Good
or bad? Only you can make that decision.
Here try this one....sent by a friend and had me in tears for 30 minutes...
Recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity
in my Community to be a judge at chili cook-off because no one else
wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last
moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking
directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the
other two judges that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides
they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted
this as being one of those burdens you endure when you're a Wal-Mart
manager and therefore known and adored by all.
Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor Very mild.
JERRY: Yow! What is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from a
driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's
the worst. These people are crazy.
Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE: Smoky (barbecue?) with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
JERRY: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am
supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted
to give me the Heimlich maneuver. Shoved my way to the front of the beer
line. The barmaid looks like a professional wrestler after a bad night.
She was so irritated over my gagging sounds that the snake tattoo under
her eye started to twitch. She has arms like Popeye and a face like
Winston Churchill. I will NOT pick a fight with her.
Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO:A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
JERRY: This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA, I've located a uranium
spill. My nose feels like I have been sneezing Drano. Everyone knows the
routine by now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer
wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front
part of my chest. She said her friends call her "Sally." Probably behind
her back they call her "Forklift."
Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO:A hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a chili.
JERRY: I felt something scraping across my tongue but was unable to
taste it. Sally was standing behind me with fresh refills so I wouldn't
have to dash over to see her. When she winked at me her snake sort of
coiled and uncoiled...it's kinda cute.
Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit
the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
JERRY: My ears are ringing and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched
and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed
hurt when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally
saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. Sort of
irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
JERRY: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous flames.
No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. I asked if she
wants to go dancing later.
Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned Peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef threw in canned chili peppers
at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge 3, he
appears to be in a bit of distress.
JERRY: You could put a hand grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and I
wouldn't feel it. I've lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are covered with chili
which slid unnoticed out of my mouth at some point. Good, at the autopsy
they'll know what killed me. Go, Sally, save yourself before it's too
late. Tell our children I'm sorry I was not there to conceive them. I've
decided to stop breathing, it's too painful and I'm not getting any
oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just let it in through the hole in my
stomach. Call the X-Files people and tell them I've found a super nova
on my tongue.
Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili
JUDGE ONE: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 fell and
pulled the chili pot on top of himself.
JUDGE TWO: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all,
not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JERRY: Mommy? Is that you? What do you mean don't go near the light...
I think I was out of Texas too long!
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Here's another good one you might want to check out....
This is called The Friendship Test (I'm sure you'll be amazed at the revelation)
First things first......
So....don't cheat and don't even think about it.
Let nature take its course.
This is a little game that has a pretty funny/creepy outcome.
Don't read ahead, just do it in order. It takes about 3 minutes.
It's worth it. It's also kinda eerie, but not at the "Poltergiest"
level... more like "Beetlejuice".
First, Get a blank piece of paper and pen.
OOH, keep this in mind... When you are asked to choose names,
make sure it's people you ACTUALLY KNOW, and go with
your first instincts! I said "First Instincts"...not basic instincts.
Now, Scroll down one line at a time - don't read ahead or you'll
ruin the fun!!
1.) First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.
2.) Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write any two numbers you want.
3.) Beside the number 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the
opposite sex. Don't look ahead-or it won't turn out right!
4.) Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th,
5th and 6th spots. Don't cheat or you'll be upset that you did.
5.) Write down four song titles in 8, 9, 10 and 11.
6.) Finally, make a wish
And here is the key for that game..
You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this
2.) The person in space 3 is the one that you love.
3.) The person in 7 is the one you like but can not work with.
4.) You care most about the person you put in 4.
5.) The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows
you very well.
6.) The person you name in 6 is your lucky star
7.) The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in
8.) The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.
9.) The tenth space is the song that tells you most about your
10.) And 11 is the song telling how you feel about life!
Alrighty then...that was fun.
Don't blame me for the consequences or the revelations that this
brings out.....after all....TLC is inside all of us!!!
And if didn't like that... you could also try the ones below.
Hopefully you're in a mood for a laugh. But if you find it "Offensive"
my apologies. Drop me a line and let me know:
This is from another site that I found. I didn't want to just copy it
and put it here so you can decide if you wanted to laugh or not.
In case you wanted to know what a jackass was.
And lastly here's a site on how to keep an idiot busy:
How to keep an idiot busy
I had a few more, but that should be enough, after all you still have to
visit the picture gallery. Have a nice day now!
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Enjoy it while you can!